My Life as an Ensemble Character

by Hannah Melton

            No words came out of my mouth! I was completely blinded by the powerful spotlight in the auditorium. The music, along with my heartbeat, was thundering in my ears. My mind was a complete blank.
            At the age of four, I stood in front of a bunch of older women at a women’s conference. I had been volunteered by my mom to sing a song she had made me practice for a long time. I knew this song inside and out. I wasn’t scared. I felt important, even proud. When I stood and turned to the audience, I knew I could do this.
            There isn’t much that I feel that I was good at. Every single time I start to think that this is something that I can excel at, it always turns out to be just another thing that I’m average at.
            I started writing stories when I was about six years old. I loved to write, to create stories that nobody else had thought of. To write something that people will remember. I always wanted to be good at writing. Actually to be better than good. I’ve always wanted be great at writing.

My brain screamed at me to start singing. I was a second behind the music but finally the         words came out. I willed my voice not to shake as I increased my volume so the people in the back of the auditorium could hear me. A high note crossed my throat. I was so nervous that my voice would break. It took all my might not to quit right then.
            I couldn’t help but smile as the old women seemed to enjoy my singing. I closed my eyes when I got to the high notes. They were always difficult for me to hit, even with my already high pitched voice. But I hit them. I opened my eyes after to see some of the women smiling. But also I saw one woman giggle.
            High school was the time that I finally gave up on singing and acting.
            Writing had become a sanctuary for me. I discovered a great way for me to express myself was to write down anything that came to mind. When high school started I decided to join the newspaper, now that my other interests had dissolved from my life. I was given the opinion column of the paper, giving me the power to write whatever I wanted. I finally felt that I was at a place where I could be great at what I wanted to do.
            I was cut off in the middle of my song.
            Thank you. That was good,” the voice from the back of the auditorium announced. I heard an applause. However, I didn’t pay attention. All I could think about was those words he announced. That was good. I admit it wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for. Granted, I forgot the song for a half a second, but I did start to sing. Was that what made it only good?
            I had no idea what I should do now that I came to the decision to give up on singing. I dug deep and started to think about what I wanted to do with my life. High school was the place to explore passions that we all have but haven’t been tapped yet. What do I like to do? What am I passionate about?
            I was in the play, and many more after that. I was in the ensemble cast. I quit!

            I don’t want to be average.