Why So Serious? by Aubrey Nielsen
It is 3:30 am. Most people are fast asleep comfortably in their beds. A man not like most
is awake, alone in a hotel room where he has spent several days by himself. Pacing back and
forth. Comic books scattered all over the floor. The bed covered with pictures of clowns. The
movie,” A Clockwork Orange” playing on the television in the background. He stops, looks in
the mirror and grins and says in a deep, husky voice,” Do you know how I got these scars?” He
then proceeds to quickly lick his lip. He stops and licks his lip again, this time only quicker. He
says the same line two more times while licking his lip as he speaks. He stops what he is doing
for a moment turns to the bed where a journal is buried amongst the collection of pictures. He
grabs the journal and begins jotting ideas down. Writing down thoughts, traits, anything that
comes to mind that could help transform him into the character he needed to be. Muttering to
himself in different voices, trying out different laughs. He needed this character to be just right.
The right laugh, the right walk, the right gestures, everything had to be right! Rubbing his eyes,
he looks over to the window to see the sun beaming through the curtain he finally realizes he had
been up all night.
The man in the hotel room was Heath Ledger. A pretty boy most would say, he grew up
in Perth, Australia. Heath was an average height male with a muscular build. Dark piercing eyes
with blonde shaggy hair that was sometimes unkempt, he was usually seen with his hair pulled
back. He had a smile that could light up a room, a smile that made him so likeable amongst his
peers and fans. Heath has a child named Matilda Rose who was born October 25, 2005. "Matilda
is adorable, and beautifully observant and wise. Michelle and I love her so much. Becoming a father exceeds all my expectations. It`s the most remarkable experience I`ve ever had - it`s
marvelous." At the time he had been in a relationship with Michelle Williams. “She`s my soul
mate and we couldn`t love each other any more than we do already. We`re like two peas in a
pod” Heath had said of his love for Michelle. The two had met while filming a movie. Neither
expected to find true love but it had happened. The couple originally living in Australia moved to
Brooklyn, New York after having their daughter. Michelle recalled Heath having bouts of
insomnia many times throughout their relationship. She claimed he had too much energy, his
mind was always racing. Reports claim the couple split because of Heath’s partying and
addiction. The couple parted in 2007 but remained on good terms. After the split, Heath became
increasingly depressed and threw himself into his work.
Heath began getting attention in 1999 for the movie, “10 Things I Hate About You.” A
movie in which his character was a rebellious teen hired to distract the older sister of a fellow
high school student. After playing the heart throb in a few more movies similar to this character,
he decided to move away from the teen scene. Quoted as saying, "I only do this because I`m
having fun. The day I stop having fun, I`ll just walk away. I wasn`t going to have fun doing a
teen movie again.... I don`t want to do this for the rest of my life....I don`t want to spend the rest
of my youth doing this in this industry. There`s so much I want to discover." Heath felt he had
more to accomplish, more to learn. He was very particular on choosing roles. He didn’t want to
play the same character twice. He wasn’t like other actors. He was uncomfortable with
interviews or all the attention that came with being a celebrity. He didn’t take roles for the
money but based on what he thought he could bring to that character. He surprised everyone
when he turned down the role of Spiderman for a smaller part in the movie, “Monster’s Ball.” Heath had his eye on a bigger picture and wanted to be more than a pretty face. He was
determined to prove himself in Hollywood. Heath saw his work as a state of constant evolution.
He proved to be a true talent and his shot to fame came with the movie entitled,
“Brokeback Mountain.” It was a forbidden love story about two married cowboys in the 70’s
that fell in love with each other. In interviews he had said he had no way of really preparing for
the role. And the love scenes were completely uncomfortable but he loved the story line behind
it. It was a love story and Heath wanted to bring everything to the character he could. “I think
there was a certain level of anxiety and fears and the risks that led into my initial reaction. But
then that kind of disappeared and I was just kind of left with this beautiful story. It felt important
it felt like a story that had never been put to screen. You have to allow yourself to be
vulnerable.” Heath said in an Oprah interview about his first impression of the script. His
character was married to a woman and in love with another man, however, wanted to fight this
fact. Heath transferred the character into a more complex personality, down to the way he
communicated. Clenching his jaw as if every word he spoke was pain. Everything about his
character had to be played just right. This was going to be more than just a “gay cowboy movie.”
The next major movie that Heath was given the opportunity of working in was, “The
Dark Knight.” He played the role of the Joker. “The Joker, so far, is definitely the most fun I`ve
had with any character. He`s just out of control -- no empathy, he`s a sociopath, uh, a psychotic,
mass-murdering clown. And, uh, I`m just thoroughly, thoroughly enjoying it. It`s just exceeded
any expectations I had of what the experience would be like.” He was known for digging deep
into his characters. With the character of the Joker, it was reported that Heath kept himself
locked in his hotel room for weeks practicing voices of how he wanted the Joker perceived. He
kept a diary for the experience. The diary was full of ideas, notes and pictures. Pictures of clowns, the Joker and a first makeup picture as Heath dressed as the Joker. The ending of the
diary had the words, “Bye, Bye” written on Heath’s picture as the Joker. In later years, a
documentary showed his father going through the diary Heath kept for the Joker, he stopped on a
page that had the entire hospital scene written down word for word. He recalled a time when he
was young and his sister Kate would dress him up as a nurse. His father found it amusing and
thought it was interesting he would fixate on that scene. The scene consists, The Joker shows up
in the hospital room of Two Face, who is a character played by Aaron Eckhart, dressed up as a
nurse. The Joker was considered one of the best performances of his career. Aaron Eckhart,
recalled a scene in which he was in the hospital and was visited by the Heath Ledger’s character.
Eckhart said that Heath never broke character. Before filming began Heath would be seen
laughing and talking to himself in the corner. The Joker’s performance was known as the
performance of his career. Unfortunately, it is believed he fell too deep in the role. “Last week I
probably slept an average of two hours a night. I couldn't stop thinking. My body was exhausted,
and my mind was still going.” Heath was quoted as saying in a Vanity Fair article. Heath often
complained of sleeping problems in the later part of his life. The Joker was a deeply depressed
character. Heath had to go to a dark place for this character. Possibly, even throwing some of his
own pain into his performance. Many critics rave of his performance, though, sadly Heath did
not live to see it.
Heath was found dead January 22, 2008 by his housekeeper in his Manhattan apartment.
An accidental overdose on sleeping medication mixed with pain killers. Was the death of this
young talent caused because of the love he had for his art? He was praised by so many of his
peers. Heath was a kind soul. He had so much potential, so much determination. A lot of
speculation after his death was about how he had become more depressed after taking the Joker role. So much speculation on how a talent’s life could end so early. Why? Heath loved what he
did and changed the lives of so many, yet, no one knew of his inner struggles. A man with a
smile that could light up a room, has us asking, why so serious?
